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Oooh, got a good one for you! My friend and I
are going to write an uber together and, mind you,
not just any uber, but one about rodeo cowgirls
and the women who love (to ride) them.
Sounds good? I though you might like it.
What we do need, however, is any and all
information you good folks might have on rodeos,
competitions, behind the scene organization and
all that. Please?
P.S.
Worry not, my partner in crime is a Virgo, so she'll
be sure to keep me in line and ensure we finish
this pup.
P.P.S.
I'm thinking the tentative title could be...
"Smouldering Sadles"?
"Ridin' Lesbians"? "Horny Beasts"?
;)
July 30th:
This is like a wet dream come true! Lucy to guest-star on the X-Files? Somebody pinch me! (Ooh, naughty...)
Let the uber-crossover madness commence...
(Off to blot the drool off)
July 29th:
Four words to describe bliss:
First coffee,
Sunday morning.
(Bliss of the non-sexual kind, of course. Otherwise, it'd be something like "Yes, oh god, yes!")
July 27th(Or something. It's Saturday, I know that):
Oh.
My.
Sweet.
God.
I have become the newest convert to the "Latina Women Lovers" religion. It's sinfull. The slightly raspy voice, the long black hair, the language that glides across your skin gently, lapping, before showing teeth and scraping down the length of your back deliciously...
You know what I'm talking about, right? Let me just tell you, I'm glad last night's barbecue feast, during which I had to sit across this Venezuelan beauty and not drool, did not include drumsticks. It was bad enough watching her lick her fingers. But really. It's not like I couldn't control myself.
I'm thinking it's a conspiracy - first these beautiful, bodacious, busty Texan cowgirls, flexing their thighs around the mechanical bull and I - transfixed by the sheer... naughtiness of what the Texans ferociously claim to be 'clean fun for the whole family'. And then, just when I thought I had it all back together again, the sight of the slender brunette (in my own back yard!!) with skin the color of caramel - the color that hints as much at sun that kissed it as at the fire beneath it.
Sigh. It must be that time of the month. Why else the bad poetics? Either that or I'm in love. And I prefer the worst of PMS to that *anytime*.
But enough about me. "I Will Survive" was not the theme song to my college for no reason...
* Alternative Stories: "Lucifer Rising" by Sharon Bowers
* Alternative Stories: "Callisto's Antidote" by Friction
* Hubba-hubba!: "Something I Need" by Rooks
* Hubba-hubba!: "Prisoner of War" by Kodi Wolf
Well, I'm off to recuperate and get ready for another assault on my taxed senses. You know how they tell you - "don't only exercise on the weekends, you overexert your body in the span of two days, and underwork it during the week, increasing chance of injuries"? Well, hell, why don't they tag the same disclaimer for partying? We should not be allowed to contain the good times only to the weekend! We overdo it! We risk doing stupid things in front of attractive people, because we think - this is my chance, I probably won't see her till next weekend!
Or maybe I'm just trying (gasp) to rationalize my behavior.
But think about it...
Ok, kids, later...
July 25th:
Added stuff to the Links page.
July 18th:
Did any of you guys read AEsop's fables? You know, the fox and the crow ones? Or the hare and the tortoise?
And why, you ask? I have no idea. Just remembered how cool they are. And how come Gabrielle never got to
meet AEsop? I'm sure Xena would have appreciated him as well - his stories are short and sweet, no gargantuan
rhetoric there. But, really. Who cares, right?
Now for the update. Only two stories again, but I figured - better than nothing, right? Here they are:
* Alternative Stories: "Look Into My Eyes" by Frost
* Alternative Stories: "Cobb Island" by Advocate
Also, thanks to some cool folks which will be duly thanked, I will have a couple more suggestions after
I come back. Plus, sharing my wealth of knowledge with the masses, I'll update my links page with a few awesome sites
you are required by law to visit. Honest.
Have a great weekend everyone.
July 16th:
Ok, two things:
A) Brandi Chastain has declared her undying love for me in front of 8,506 people during the last-night's game.
B) My department is getting outsourced and now I have to go figure out which managers I should suck up to in order to ensure my continued employment with "Ass-wipes 'R' Us, Inc."
Only one of the above statements is true. Can you guess which one?
Ah, but worry not, my dears, nothing shall prevent me from keeping you regaled with more excellent reviews of Xena fan fiction stories. Well, nothing short of me going away for the weekend, so in case I don't get anything out this week, well, deal.
On another note - I'm open for sugar-momma suggestions. As in - I could sure use one right now, and Melissa Etheridge already has a young blonde thing to warm her bed...
July 13th:
I shall, for now, spare you my trials and tribulations on this Friday the 13th. It wasn't pretty, though.
Ok, just like I promised. Here's Brulee's newest offering - I just had to share it with y'all. Cause I'm nice like that. I am. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
Oh, and worry not, I'll update you on my personal expeditions this weekend. Brandy Chastain *and* Melissa Etheridge will be in Boston this weekend. How exciting is that?
Ah, what do you know, anyway? Here:
* Alternative Stories: "The Hapless Romantic" by Creme Brulee
Latah, beautifules...
July 12th:
Early! I am doing this early! Let them *dare* insinuate that I'm never on time with anything! Ha!
Ok, it'll be a busy weekend, kiddies, so here it is, without further ado:
* Hubba-hubba: "Heaven Down There" by Rebecca Hall
* Hubba-hubba: "Triangle" by Zoe
* Alternative Stories: "Venezia" by Vivian Darkbloom
Yup, there, go, enjoy! Oh, and I'll have another tasty morsel for you later on tomorrow... And, no, I'm not trying to be a tease, but she made me promise (swear on Xena's non-existant grave, the wench!) not to let the info leak before time... It's killing me! But I'll stay strong. I will.
Till tomorrow.
July 7th (I think... Saturday?):
Hey you all. And hey to the rest of you as well. I do not discriminate...
So, only two reviews this time, I'm afraid. Besides being happily hungover, they've decided to make me do work at work this week, so I didn't have as much time for important stuff. Bastards.
Yeah. I want to thank the folks who've helped me locate stories I've been looking for. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who is in constant fear of filling up my inbox ("You are using 78.45% of your mailbox limit, please bring it down to under 50%..." I hate that.), so I always end up deleting messages I've just read, usually without first making note of important information contained within.
All of this, dear god, I *am* turning into my mother, just to tell you that I forgot who sent me which link, but I still want to thank you. Without you, I'd still be taxing what little brainpower I have left. I do appreciate it.
On the same note, but not quite - people, I don't bite! (Well, not outside the bedroom and Monday morning 'management' meetings, anyway)
Send me a link, send me a note, let me know what story you'd like to see reviewed here. I might laugh at you (nicely, in a very coy, femme manner, you'll like it), or I might end up taking your advice, in which case I *will* remember to thank you personally. Really. I am a ditz. Don't hold it against me.
Ok. Off to have more coffee. Did we thank the Mayas or whoever invented that brew of the gods yet? See, all the good folks get wiped out - the Incas or some such folk gave us chocolate - dead. The Mitoans - septic system - dead. Xena - countless nights of pleasant dreams filled with leather encased breasts - dead. Bush - a laughable excuse for a man - alive and thriving.
Justice? Pfft!
* Hubba-hubba: "Belief" by Troubleshooter
* Alt Stories: "The War" by Kauri
Have a good week, folks.
...
Doh!
Right. See, depleting brain cells, what am I telling you?
What I was also going to mention is, if you liked Anima's "Tryptich" series (and how could you not?), here's another story you might want to check out. This is Governal's addition to the storyline. Check it out (no review for this one, lazy):
* "And The Strange Morning" by angharad governal
I think that's it. For real, now. Later.
July 2nd:
Okay, so another question - I read an excellent story based on the episode "Price" - you know, bad hairy Horde men, Evil Xena, Sweet Gabrielle?
Well, being brain-dead as I am, I remember neither the name of the story nor the author, but the plot is something like: there was no fast and clean finish to the Horde seige, and Xena sank deeper into her Warchief persona, making Gabrielle "General's whore" after she dared disobey Xena's direct order. Sounds familiar? If so, please let me know either the author's name, or where I can find the story, and I will be as grateful as I can? Please?
July 2nd:
Ok - I need some support here, folks. Tell me I'm not totally losing my mind here. So, there's this dentist guy who owns a practice with his two brothers, right? My sister, my mother and I have all been under his care for, oh, three years now? Anyway. I'm at this wedding, and my sister goes "Oooh, look who's here..." and then gets both my mother and I to shake hands with this man and his wife. Dr... Frederici, let's call him. So, I'm thinking to myself: "Oh, this must be one of the brothers I haven't met yet." Who cares, right, this guy's not my dentist, the older Dr... Frederici is.
So we proceed to witness one of the most prolonged, god-spanking boring ceremonies *ever* and, as an antidote, I immediately head to the bar.
Standing in line, the Dr. guy comes up to me and says "Hey, (insert my real name here, which, out of sheer embarrassment at what I am going to relay, will stay anonymous), how you doin'?"
So, I turn and smile (to show him what a nice job his brother did), and say "Hey, it's so nice to meet you finally, I can't believe I've been coming to the office for two years now and we meet at a wedding." Charming, flirtatious, very nice of me, I was proud, I have to admit. Except, the man's looking at me like I just sprouted broccoli on my forehead.
He says: "Excuse me?"
I say: "Heh?"
He says: "Are you serious?"
I say (to the bartender): "Vodka, straight up, and make it snappy!"
He says: "No really, are you serious?"
So I squint at him and decide mortification would be a totally wrong way to go seeing how the damned reception just started and I wasn't drunk yet, so I decide to play dumb. Really, really dumb.
So, I say: "Oh, Dr. Frederici! Hah! And here I thought you were your younger brother, the, er, Younger Dr. Frederici! How silly of me!"
And it was. Silly. Cause, you guessed it, the man in front of me was, all along, my dentist, the Older Dr. Frederici, whom I've been visiting for about three years.
Who continued to look at me as if I lost my mind.
I smiled again.
He wasn't impressed.
I said: "Gee, you look really different without your mask, ehe-ehe!"
At which point, thankfully, the bartender took pity on me and tapped me on the shoulder, thrusting a drink at me. God bless the man. So, I took a shot, then turned back to the dentist, shrugged my shoulders and walked away. What can you do?
And the thing is - if the damned Clark Kent can fool the world by putting on dorky eye-glasses, am I really expected to recognize the man who I see, what, 2-3 times a year and he has his face covered with a mask most of the time? Whatever. Though, I do have to admit, I have no trouble recalling his dental hygienist, she was a fox...
But, in short - should this be considered odd behavior from my part? I mean, how many of you really remember your dentist? Of course, my mom and my sister were aghast at my lack of manners (cause the snively ass had to run and tell) and I can't even claim to have been drunk at the time.
Weddings! I think lesbians should be permanently excused from attending, because - honestly - it's just such a cruel and unusual punishment to our kind. But I'm okay. And I have about three months till I need to find a new dentist...
June 30th, take II:
Yeah. Crack aint' good for ya. I had written this one right at the beginning, and
thought I had posted it too. Maybe I did, who knows? Anywhoo, here it is, again:
"Well of Sighs" by Ella Quince
June...30th?:
Hola chiquitas! Yup, yup, it's me again. First Saturday AXD (After Xena Died, silly). I am doing well, despite the malicious rumors of the general public.
I'm still celebrating the fact that Milosevic (the devil incarnate, for those of you not familiar with the name) has finally been extradited to the Hague. Only took them ten years, but you know, who ever exptected "justice" to be swift?
But, you're not here for the 'deep' stuff, so - without further ado - the updates:
"Wedding Night" by Catherine M. Wilson
"CyberEpic" by RedHawk
"Resistance" by Della Street
Ok, y'all, let me know how you like 'em. Even better, let the authors know too.
June 25th:
Yeah, so I am refusing to believe I am completely HTML inept, therefore I am going to blame Tripod for messing up my site, yet again. I've posted a couple of updates this weekend, including me venting about the show finale and a link to review of Temora's story, but now they've miraculously disappeared. Sigh. So, without further ado, here's a link to Temora's latest offering, which I rather liked. Which is why I reviewed it... Right.
"A Once and Future Journey" by Temora
June 22nd:
Well, howdy again. So, I'm figuring I'd be making updates about once a week or so. If you care, that is. Though already depressingly resigned, I am still dreading the Xena finale tomorrow. Ech.
Ok, new recommendations:
"Exposure" by "The Girls"
"Fires of Home" by Thatpote
"Lilla's Little Adventure" by Charmer
June 13th:
Happy Birthday To Me! Yeeeeey! (Okay, I feel better now...)
June 15th:
Updated Stuff. I don't know how to link to them, but go check out the Alternative, General *and* Hubba-hubba pages.
June 17th:
Sigh. Watched "Friend in Need" yesterday. Anyone up for creating a national Xena Addicts Anonymous organization?
If not, I'll have to share with you a few reasons as to why Xena and Gabrielle should move in with me after the show's over:
1) I could retire my life-size Xena cutout from the window. The real thing would work so much better. (Hey, it works! It keeps the men away, as good as garlic does the vampires. Not that I've had any experience with either. Men nor vampires, I mean. I like garlic though. Especially with fried shrimp, mmm...)
2) My queen-sized bed can comfortably hold three. Not that I've had the theory tested out or anything. What kind of a girl do you think I am? (Um, the kind that is developing a collection of racy Xena fan fiction? Oh. Right. Well, if the shoe fits...)
3) I bet they're both excellent in the art of massage, after six seasons and all, and we wouldn't want those skills to go to waste after the show end, would we now? I'll volunteer.
4) Xena could use her chakram to keep the skunks (smelly little bastards) away from my house.
Yeah, whatever. It *could* happen.
Btw - new stuff on Alt and Hubba-Hubba! pages.
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