Elemental Properties:
A Story of Magic
By
CL Bactad
A disclaimer:
The recommendation following forthwith should not in any way be associated with the person making it.
…er, no. The recommendation following forthwith, though reflective of thoughts, tastes and feelings of the person making it, should not be held against her. Meaning, dumas, I'm not a softie! I don't care for cheesy love stories. I do not!
Got it?
Good.
Now, why you should read this beautifully crafted offering by BL Bactad? Because it promotes the abuse of marijuana. Marijuana, you ask. Marijuana, I say. Well, one might add, how does a wonderfully hilarious first-time story between Xena and Gabrielle in which there is not one mention of the aforementioned herb, promote pot-smoking?
Let me tell you.
I had read this story before, and loved it as much as I still do. Then I smoked some yerba buena and forgot all about it. Some time passed, I did some such inconsequential things as attended classes at a prestigious college and won a Nobel prize for fighting midget illiteracy, when - lo and behold - I came across the story again. And yet, nothing was lost, not a smidgen of delight, not a miniscule part of amazement, not a nano-second of joy at reading this story again since - you guessed it - I had forgotten all about it due to some very good Alaskan greenery (and I ain't talking evergreens here).
This is why, gentle reader, you should pick up smoking dope, growing out your hair, wearing baggy clothes and eating lots of junk food - so you can, after you've read it once, at a future point relive fully the joy of discovery of this unsurpassed work of fan fiction - even your dead brain cells will thank you.
So. Somewhat of a Catch-22, ain't it? I'm saying that you ought to read this story cause it'll make you pick up smoking weed so you could *forget* that you read the story just so you could read it again with unspoilt enjoyment. If you didn't smoke pot, it wouldn't work. If you didn't read the story, you wouldn't need pot. Then again, what's the big deal? Everybody does it. Why, just ask the president.
So, anyway. THAT is the reason why I'm recommending you read this story. For its nefarious influence. Not because, as some might - ridiculously enough - infer that I love this story because of its wit and originality. Or wonderful characterizations. Or, like, brilliant inclusion of Ephiny and Solari, not to mention Bulgarian milkmaids and Jackie Spam. And most definitely not for the level of romanticism still encompassed in the story. Cause, mind you, if I were to tell you all about the 'hocus-pocus' of love, magic of soulmates, or beautiful emotions contained within, I'd be, like, a sap. Which I'm not. A sap. Not I. I'm a cold-hearted pot-head who did *not* wear out her "When Fates Collide" tape by watching certain parts of the episode over and over again. I don't even watch Xena. Xena who? See - it works!
Yeah. Pot good. Mushy romance bad. Go read the story.